Well, here we go again with the startling news that Leonardo DiCaprio and his friend Toby McGuire were seen in a London Gentleman’s club last weekend and the sad news that shining and beautiful Vittoria Cerretti is absolutely going out of her wits because Leo doesn’t want her anymore!!!

Now, shining and happy supermodel Vittoria Cerretti is absolutely gorgeous and a wonderful person, but she has one fatal flaw: that she is old. Yes, not old in the sense that she is an old woman, but she is, according to Leo and his friends, old enough to not be included in the cool club anymore.

Leo has this rule with women that if they are older than 25 then they are too old for him! He himself is aged 51 apparently, and he likes women to be hot and young and very sexy!

Meanwhile, the good old boys of Old London Town set off on a mission to secure bottles of rare tequila from wherever they could find them and bring it back to Toby and Leo so that they could drink.

He didn’t want to drown in the Titanic, but now look at him, he is drowning in love debts. Anyway, Vittoria is beside herself with grief and yearning and sadness.

Then Leo and Toby, at the devil hour of 3 a.m. walked confidently out of the gentleman’s club. Leo looked handsome and happy and more relaxed than any of his friends had seen him in years.

Sources say that he is slowly but surely getting prepared to let her go and get another one. She fears for her life and only wants to be able to live! They both knew in their cold hearts that it wasn’t going to work out, but they dragged on. Now, when everything boils over and life becomes hard to handle, what do you get? The boys going downtown to get a drink 🥃! lol